✦ You’re secretly a savage - pulling the sickest of pranks on people, all in good fun! What people learn about you right off the bat is that there’s warmth in your soul, sunshine in your smile, a light overshadowing crippling darkness within you. You don’t let that latter part show; you’ve convinced yourself, through mindful reflection, that you really want to be done with those dark parts of you. In order to do that, you commit yourself to others without pause. Strangers are friends you just haven’t met yet! But you despise how soft your voice is in all of those interactions leading up to friendship. It’s a bit of an insecurity on your part - but that’s okay! You’re working on it and you like to think your friends value you deeply! You need to be needed, and your kind and charismatic nature lends itself to that. Most of the time!
✦ You’ve got artistic chaos swirling all about you. You have a hundred disorganized thoughts zooping through your head at any given moment, and it leads to you often being late for events or getting side tracked on those important assignments! You’ve got a bad track record of turning in schoolwork at the highest quality that you’re capable of, but you think it might also be because the classroom experience just isn’t the right fit for you. You’d rather be running through varied and immense landscapes, body close to the earth, fresh air blown into lungs, becoming one with the visions that line up with voices and tones. You’re secretly a sucker for routine when you can get your life together, and love going for a 5km run at the same time each day.
✦ You’re bursting with interests - a naturally curious person, you could sit for hours and talk with people about what gives them life. For you, that aspect is art: the personification of voices with your paints, the exploration of your relationships and opportunities through chasms and skies. You strive for stability and you’re someone who supports friends with time, effort, and genuine care; no dares or risky adventures for you! It could take you an hour to make up your mind between the raspberry or the chocolate cheesecake; but that being said, once you’ve been recruited to try something by a friend, you’re all in! You’ve got a lot of love for the world and swim along pleasant daydreams of the future at any given moment. You’ve just got to get better at fighting for what you want, letting others know how you truly feel, learning that it’s okay to be sad.
★ freeform section
✦ The stork must have snipped a few of your synapses when you were born! In the best ways possible! You’re born with an intriguing chemical mix in your brain - one that alters your sense of perception in profound and wonderful ways. Some of mom’s most cherished memories of you as a toddler were the times you raced across the hallways, art brush in hand, painting landscapes to the song of her lullabies - well okay, maybe it wasn’t so cherished at the time. It’s not until you’re much older that you’re declared as having synesthesia, the particular variety of which transmutes voices to landscapes. The voice mail recordings of your deceased father is a pleasant horizon; his last message to your mom is thunder struck over barren, cracked plains.
✦ As a tot, childhood is blessed. Your mom does the best she can, a miracle woman giving you everything and anything you could have asked for, cherishing your vibrant interests and willingness to learn everything in this vast world. From a very early age, she fosters your interest in languages, and pairs your early english words with Spanish ones. You’re a tot who plays soccer at age three, but you’re quite bad at playing the game! You’d much rather just run with the ball, run far and wide, eclipsing the goal posts and gunning towards the horizon.
✦ The world burns a little brighter when you meet the kid next door at the ripe age of five. He gets into all sorts of trouble and takes risks that you’d never even dream of, but he’s cool. When he speaks, he orients the stars, suns, and moons: at age five, you’re convinced of that. You follow him everywhere he goes, inspired by his conviction, moved by how he sticks up for you. You share a secret between you: the graffiti art splattered against alley walls, the empty spray cans warm from his hand and your hand on the can together. New colors seep into the world, flowing through heart and lungs.
✦ You don’t really learn until later that this graffiti thing is deemed by society as a bad thing - and luckily for you, neither you nor your bestie are caught at it. But as time goes along, something happens and steals your spirit from your soul. It starts with Kaleb’s voice - there’s sadness there that you’re not used to, sadness erupting from a sanctuary torn into two. Your paintings depict comets crashing into the earth’s crust.
✦ Life progresses as usual, with elementary evolving into middle school. You and Kaleb walk to and from school together, falling into a pleasant pattern of friendship. But something plagues you, a voice tugging you from the back of your mind: check in with him, just ask what’s wrong
- but you’re a coward when you figure out that you just can’t do it. You can’t pry. You’re not strong enough to do that, to risk hurting this friendship that’s slowly uplifting itself to some higher place in your heart.
✦ You’re taunted a bit in middle school for a talent that comes from hearing voices. It’s around that time that you learn the association between your condition and something scary-sounding like schizophrenia - you’re struck to the core, letting bullies’ words sink into you. For a while, you put down the brush, effectively plugging up a huge part of yourself. There’s a smile on the outside, two black holes for eyes and a face frozen in place. Languages, for a while, just aren’t interesting. The world’s slowly dimming as you continue to believe that Kaleb doesn’t need your prying, a self-defeat that plants all these seeds of insecurity in your heart. You want to tell him about all these kids who pick on you when he’s not around - but you can’t, you just can’t, and would die to burden him so.
✦ Life hits a turning point in the summer before your freshman year of high school; because suddenly, your best friend’s brother destroys him in a devastating fight that leaves pieces of him scattered across everything you once knew as home. Kaleb runs to you, and you learn of all the truths you were too terrified to ask: of a disintegrating home and all the pains that come with it. You hold onto him then, promising to never let go, promising to become a better person because he needs you. Shame and immense relief become you - because of your inability to act and because you know how to change that from hereon out. Your mom’s a part of the plan, inviting Kaleb over for all meals, not batting an eye when he asks to stay the night. Your mental scape’s emblazoned with colors of dusk and dawn.
✦ At Ridgeview, you partake in all those parts of you that you shut off - the landscapes, the languages, the long runs that you craved. You’ve been encouraged to join co-ed XC by some friends who believe in you - friends who help you see all that you could be. Kaleb's not into the sports stuff, and instead has fallen into a new crowd of delinquent friends. You’re worried to bits, and sometimes a tad bit jealous (or a lot of jealous) of the time they spend with him - but that's okay, cause you've sworn to support him in any and every way you can! At this point in life, there’s two questions bubbling up to the surface of life - one, what you’ll do about all your sadness of dad’s passing that you’ve pushed back until now; and secondly, on the other end, what you’ll do about these blooming feelings for your best friend that you no longer want to be just friends with. Life’s a hundred conversations happening simultaneously, and here you are, lost for words!