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posted Jun 2 2018, 01:12 AM
PLAYED BY ASTER // SHE/HER // IDOLM@STER, ANASTASIA (ANYA)
if there those out there who are destined for greatness, you are the one destined to follow.
it is not a decision of your own making. on the contrary, you long desperately to stand apart from the crowd. they who are lauded and mocked for their cleverness, their wit, their charm. there is something to be admired about being something, if anything at all. ( you were never much of a personality. ) you learn at a young age that there is merit to fitting in, but there is even more to standing out. in being different. but gabrielle insists that there's no point in it.
everyone already knows the kind of person you are: you're quiet and never say much. when you do, you're a half-beat behind the conversation. your grades are only so-so. your looks are average. your smile only just acceptable. no one expects anything of you, gabrielle says during a sleepover once upon a time. sometimes, it's just easier that way. and because you're in front of her friends and she's the only one who sees anything of value in you, you agree.
( you know that's all you're good for to her: agreeing. )
suddenly, you're thirteen and it turns out that agreeing and being nice isn't enough to fit in. all of the sudden, now it's teachers asking 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' and actually expecting an answer. you're just thirteen, but they want you to start thinking about it. start thinking about it, like you're supposed to know already where your life is headed and what you're good at. ( surprise: it's nothing. ) classes are getting harder and gabrielle's laughing because she skipped a grade and if you think that this is hard, just wait until you get to high school. just wait until you get to college.
your grades are slipping, cassandra. why are they slipping? didn't they teach you this in school, cassandra? why don't you know the answer, cassandra? why don't you know anything, cassandra? WHY AREN'T YOU GOOD ENOUGH, CASSANDRA?
three months into your first semester of eighth grade and you stop going to school. you keep making excuses. 'i have a headache.' 'oh, they gave us the day off for teacher conferences.' 'i have the flu.' 'they're just going on a field trip today, but i don't want to go.' you're not surprised when your mothers sit you down and ask you why you don't want to go to school. you were never very good at lying. especially not to them. never to them. you're not sure that they'll understand.
so, you start going to therapy. gabrielle doesn't talk to you anymore. neither do trisha, danielle, natasha, emily, mia. no one wants to be friends with a psychopath. ( junior high isn't exactly the place to be talking about mental health. )
dr. li: this isn't your fault.
except things don't get better. they just suck more because it turns out that's the last time you talk to dr. li and the last time you talk to anyone about your problems because it turns out that you're moving this summer! to somewhere you don't know! around people you don't know! isn't that just peachy, cass? you're going to move out to the middle of buttfuck nowhere, california, and your moms are just so excited because they can finally get out of this back-end town you grew up in. it'll be better for you. why don't you try to look at this positively, cassandra?
it's a chance to re-invent yourself, after all.
POSITIVES allocentric, level-headed, imaginative, individualistic, intuitive, resourceful, conciliatory, naive. NEGATIVES disorganized, compulsive liar, impatient, self-critical, obsequious, vindictive, petulant, passive. QUIRKS → predictions are never actually right.
→ hires a small entourage to make her predictions "come true."
→ deeply invested in the occult.
→ does astrology and tarot readings for a price.
→ cries easily under pressure.
→ is more boring than she says.
"run, run, lost boy," they say to me, "away from all reality."
i was alive for the boy is mine
of the virgo
co-captain of nugget night
posted Jun 3 2018, 08:24 PM
welcome to the site!
aster you fix this, she gotta be full of happiness!! a tragic soul, 10/10 on causing my heart to clench. wonderful app!
don't forget to do your claims!